When You Have Your Cake And Eat It Too
by The Brilliant Lady Bulma
Summary: My Attempt at a BabeCake Fic. Takes place right after 12 Sharp. The Stephanie, Ranger, Joe drama is coming to a head and the emotions soaring. Steph has to make a choice, now! Who will it be? Will it be neither? Or can she have her cake and eat it too?
1. Chapter 1

_I honestly don't know where I'm going to go with this story. It just came to me one night while I was bored out of my mind. So, it's pretty much going to write itself, take me where it wants to go. I'm not sure if this is going to be a Cupcake or a Babe fic. I'm actually going to aim for Babe-cake. This my first shot at a fanfic for the Plum series but definitely not my first time writing. _

_All reviews, including flames are welcome. If I've gotten some facts wrong, etc, feel free to point them out._

_Oh yeah, and this story is going to take place right after 12 Sharp so…if you haven't read that far there might be a few spoilers. Nothing major, but don't say I didn't warn you._

_Other than that, enjoy! _

_**Disclaimer:** I do **not** own any of the characters. Janet Evanovich does, she's just letting me borrow them for the time being, at no profit. Just the enjoyment of the readers. _

—

**When You Have Your Cake and Eat It Too**

**Chapter One**

I hesitated for a moment before I took another piece of cake into my lips. For the first time in my life I, Stephanie Plum, was hesitating in the presence of cake! This was unheard of. I was born and raised in the Burg, short for Chambersburg, with an Italian and Hungarian family that always promised great deserts. I hadn't been able to turn down cake since I was in the womb. But today I had my reasons to be weary. Part of the reason was I wanted to keep the fit I had in my jeans. I was scared that if I took in anymore cake I would have a roll of fat to deal with in the morning. My other reason was a lot more lethal.

I glanced from under my thick eyelashes at the man on the other end of the fork. Ranger appeared to be entertaining himself by feeding me cake. Ranger was my mentor, tormentor and more; the epitome of tall, dark and handsome. He was somewhere in the vicinity of 6-feet tall, wrapped in mocha colored skin and had his long mane of black hair pulled tightly into a ponytail secured at the base of his neck. Most men I knew would look like idiots with their hair styled like Ranger. But somehow, it all fit into Ranger's 'alpha male' demeanor. Ranger always was dressed in SWAT black, except for today. He was mysterious, smooth, with eyes like dark chocolate. To say he was every woman's dream was an understatement.

Most women I knew, like my best friend, sister, even grandmother, would have done anything to be in my current position. I had been in a lot worse places, a _lot_ worse. I was 30, over-all healthy, and some even considered me attractive in the right light. I didn't necessarily believe that. It was hard to consider myself attractive when I had unruly hair and my jeans were fitting too tight. But here I found myself, with one of the most—if not _the_ most—attractive man in all of Trenton, feeding me cake. I took yet another piece of cake in before wondering to myself, what's the problem? In the past couple of weeks I had been stun gunned, stalked, and all around harassed. I deserved some cake, dammit. There was _no_ problem. Right?

Ranger's gazed had gone from seemingly innocent to a bit more perverse as I slid my tongue around the piece of cake and metal of the fork. Alarms started to go off in the back of my head. I might have been young healthy and attractive but I was also very much involved with my boyfriend, Joe Morelli. He was a cop, with a cop face that showed zero emotion when he was pissed, and a cop's body that had many creative uses thanks to his over-active libido. Ranger had once described Morelli as a good guy with a shitty job. I had to agree. Morelli had looks and charm to spare, surely he could have been something else than a cop. Like a male model…or porn-star. He was taller than me, with Italian blood pumping proudly through his system from head to toe. His hair was cut short, but it always seemed to need a haircut in a sexy, saggy sort of way. Morelli's eyes were dangerously seductive. They had been my undoing plenty of times. He had a tattoo on his perfectly-sculpted chest of an eagle, a tribute to another life. The life that made it hard for me to take him being a cop seriously, a life where he _broke_ laws rather than enforcing them.

My relationship with Morelli had always been a strange one since its debut. It all started when I was a young girl and, going against my mother's warnings about those Morelli men, I followed Joe into his father's garage. As a child I didn't do well listening to advice. Come to think about it, I _still _don't do well with advice. Unlike my perfect sister Valerie I had jumped off of the roof, been the original space cadet, and that day, I found Joe Morelli's head under my skirt as we played 'choo-choo'; he was the train, I was the tunnel. Dumb move number one. Since then, Morelli has been a permanent fixture in my life.

A decade later we found ourselves on the floor of a bakery where I worked part time, with a very different part of Joe's anatomy in the general area where his head had been so many years ago. He was so kind as to relieve me of my virginity that night, and later write about it on the wall of bathroom in Mario's sub shop. That definitely qualified as dumb move number two. Another decade after that, we were on-again/off-again boyfriend and girlfriend. Only this time we were on-again, and it felt more serious than it had in…forever. I was still deciding if this was another one of those dumb moves I made. With some difficulty I swallowed the sugary lump down my throat and stared at Ranger. I pushed my chair away from him.

"Is something wrong? You're not chewing."

I licked some frosting from my lips. "I…was thinking."

"About?"

I looked at Ranger, and then my eyes dashed away. "I don't want the calories. I should go."

"Babe."

"I have to get going." I choked out unevenly. "I-I hope you feel better."

Ranger set the fork down into the cake box and raised one of his eyebrows. He wasn't buying it. No matter, I had to be strong, I told myself. I had to leave. I had to drive around. I had to get some air. I was going to stand up and show Ranger I had self-control.

I stood up, but my legs went from under me almost instantly. "R-really. I'll check in with you later. O-okay?" This had all sounded and gone over a lot better in my head.

Once again I thought I saw the imaginary smile tugging at the corners of Ranger's tight mouth. "Babe." He said again, this time lower.

I watched Ranger stand with some difficulty, and yet it looked more natural than what I had attempted. He had been shot due to my most recent problem that had turned out to be _our_ most recent problem. Someone had stole Ranger's identity and the whole ordeal had even dragged in Ranger's daughter, Julie from his pervious marriage. The Ranger-wanna-be wanted to kill Ranger and keep me and Julie to complete his sick fantasy. Bringing him down had resulted in us getting a lot closer, and me admitting some feelings to myself that I sometimes wish I hadn't found. It made my current love life more complicated than it had to be.

Ranger leaned closer to me and caught my chin in his hand. He kissed me with lots of force and tongue. I felt the sugar rush to the worse imaginable place in my body. Not my thighs, though it was in the same region. I felt the whole room flush with heat, and it was coming from Ranger. His body was practically throbbing with it. Somehow my arms moved around his neck and the heat was moving lower and lower in my stomach until I was gripping at the back of Ranger's grey sleeveless sweatshirt with my nails tightly. I let out something between a moan and whimper.

When he pulled away he was licking his lips. "Now _that_ cheered up my food pyramid."

"I can't keep doing this." I whispered. I thought of Joe. The cake felt like a cold slab of ice in the pit of my stomach.

"Sure you can."

"Joe." I replied.

"What about him?"

"Joe." I repeated, shaking my head. "Joe."

Ranger let out something that sounded like a very pissed of growl, but his face remained the same. "Babe, you _can_ have your cake and eat it too. You just have to find out how, and when you do, I'll be here."

He was getting dangerously close to me again. "I have to go." I spat shakily and dashed out of his apartment. I don't know how I found the strength or will power to force myself out of Ranger's apartment and back down to the RangeMan garage, but I did. I sat in my Mini, my hands gripping the wheel, breathing hard. My heart was pounding up against my breast like it was trying to escape. I tried to convince myself that what I was feeling was a bad combination of sugar and lust, but even that didn't work. I turned my radio up full blast and peeled out of the RangeMan garage as fast as my car would take me.

When I hit my first red light my thoughts had a chance to catch up with me. I didn't know where I was going. The right thing would be to go home and visit Rex, my hamster. But, lately I couldn't stand the sight of my apartment. Every time I was there alone I would stand in the middle of my kitchen, staring at _that spot_, transfixed with utter horror. _That spot_ was the spot Ranger had taken a bullet. I had seen it with very eyes. Up until that moment I had thought Ranger to be immortal. But it wasn't until I actually almost lost him that his life became to valuable to me.

I watched his body absorb the blow from the bullet, his face couture into a horrible mixture of pain and outrage, and then his body fall to the floor almost lifelessly. My voice had dried up in my throat when I tried to scream. With the flashback I felt a wave of tears fill my eyes. It was bad enough I had the flashbacks when I was in my apartment, now they were coming after me when I was out? Wiping the tears away, I felt like I had nowhere to be safe.

A typical Jersey driver honked his horn at me, made a few gestures that I was too familiar with and cut me off. Any other day Stephanie Plum would have been ready for action. Today, I let him pass. I closed my eyes, steadied myself, and followed traffic.

I made it home on autopilot. I parked my Mini downstairs of my apartment building and ran inside. I was going to feed Rex, then go back out. I couldn't stay in my apartment, not when the feelings were so close to the surface. I made it up to my apartment without a problem. Usually, I would have been more careful about opening the door but I was in a state of mind that didn't allow me to. When I walked in I heard Rex busily running on his wheel. He stopped at the sound of me for a second before continuing his daily exercise routine, something he had not inherited from me.

I rapped on the glass of his cage and dropped in a few Cheese Doodles and a raisin for good measure. Rex jumped off of his wheel and stuffed the cheese doodles into his cheek. Maybe he had taken more after me than I thought.

"I'm going to go see Joe." I said to Rex. He glanced up at me with his beady eyes and I thought about staying a bit. There was a beer in the fridge that was calling my name. I was going to reach for it when something stopped me.

I had to cross _that spot_. I closed my eyes until I was seeing white in my closed vision. The blood was gone, Ranger was safe in his apartment, but I still saw it. I mumbled a half-hearted apology before I stumbled out to my car blindly. I sat there for a moment, gripping the wheel again, and out of breath for an entirely different reason than the first time I fell into my car.

I had two choices. I could go home for dinner to my family or I could go see Joe. Or I could go get a dozen donuts and a 6-pack. But, given the cake encounter I had earlier, I didn't want to tempt fate. I would lay off the sweets as long as possible.

There was always going home. My family lives on Roosevelt Street, close to the heart of the Burg where all of the houses are the same. They are all clean cut and narrow, usually sharing a common wall with neighbors. Ours is shared with Mabel. She is quiet, keeps to herself since her husband's passing, and bakes cookies. My family is her opposite. They tended to overstuff people in a house that was already bulging at the seams. They were loud and dysfunctional, in a charmingly normal type of way. My mom and dad had taken in my Grandma Mazur after Grandpa Mazur had taken the seat of honor at the big buffet in the sky. Mom had seen it as the right thing to do, being a good Burg daughter. Dad saw it as a curse for something he did in his youth that he was still unsure of. Sure, home was noise, especially when my perfect sister, three children, and baby's father were there, but it was home. Home offered a sort of comfort that Joe's didn't, simply couldn't.

Morelli's on the other hand was a lot less formal. It would only be the two of us, and Bob. Bob was Morelli's big, furry, orange dog. The vet had said he was a golden retriever, but I suspected he was half woolly mammoth. Bob had an eating disorder, he ate _everything. _If it wasn't nailed down, Bob went Godzilla on it, and even when it was nailed down he made a fight for it. In some strange way, Bob was perfect for Morelli and I. Morelli often times used Bob as his ploy to get me over to his house. He lured me over with Bob, beer, pizza, and the promise of passionate sex. I would complain, but who would listen?

I flipped down my vanity mirror and checked my face. My blue eyes were lined with red from the threatening tears, mascara and eyeliner smudged. My hair had turned curly instead of wavy. That was no surprise. I pulled out some emergency makeup from my glove compartment, fixed the damage and took off to Morelli's house. I made a deal with God, promising I would see Mom tomorrow then was off to feel better.

I pulled up to Morelli's a few short minutes later. He lived in a house that was similar to my parents but to me it always felt much roomier. That might have something to do with the lack of people and extra bathroom. Morelli also lived like a typical guy, which meant less furniture. He had inherited the house from his Aunt Rose. From the outside the house wasn't anything spectacular, considering his garage was blown up. But from the inside the house was filled with Morelli's signature scent and style, mixed with a little Bob. Occasionally, I add to the house. Sometimes I wonder if my cookie jar will end up on Morelli's counter. Other days that thought scares me.

I didn't need to knock on the door. When I came out of the driver's side of my Mini I saw that Morelli was already leaning in the doorway, thumbs hooked into the loops of his faded jeans. He wore his black CAT boots and a faded gray shirt that was held together only by hope. He was off duty, but still radiated bad-ass cop vibes. I smiled at him like the schoolgirl he made me fee like. He cracked a dazzling smile that put electricity in the air.

"Hey, cupcake."

My knees got weak even before I reached the door. When I did, Morelli had to all but catch me. "Hey." I breathed out.

He kissed the top of my rumbled hair and smiled down at me. This was one of the things I loved about Morelli; his unconditional affection.

"I'm glad you came by." He said, ushering me into his house and closing the door.

"Why?"

Morelli pushed me against the door. "Bob's been really lonely without you. He misses you."

As in on cue a muffled _woof_ came from somewhere in the house. A few short seconds later I felt the approaching stampede of Bob paws charging throughout the house. After almost knocking into the door itself, Bob managed to somehow push Morelli away. Once Morelli was out of the picture, Bob's face went straight for my goods.

I tried to push his head away, but Bob was persistent. I glared up at Morelli.

"What can I say?" He grinned with a shrug. "Great minds think a like."

I continued to try to move Bob's snout away from a very sensitive area but he recoiled with a vengeance. I yelped. "Help!"

Morelli dragged Bob out into the backyard by the collar. I heard Bob whimpering on the wrong side of the back door. Morelli returned, still smiling. "No fair, he got to third in less than five minutes."

"Yeah well, so do you." I mumbled. "No wonder dogs are man's best friend."

I was too busy wiping Bob slobber from the crotch of my pants to notice that Morelli had advanced on me. He had me backed up to the door again, a wicked gleam in his melted chocolate eyes. He whispered some colorful imagery in my ear that hit close to what Bob had attempted and this time my knees did buck. In a flash his shirt was on the floor and his lips were busy on my neck. I tilted my head back on the door.

Morelli came up for air a few minutes later. He scanned his lips along the lines of my face. They stopped at the corner of my lips. "Is this cake?" He questioned, licking the pastel colored substance. "Mm, it is. When did you have cake?"

My stomach did a raw twist and I felt the sugar surging up like I was going to throw up. If I told Morelli where I had been, I knew his reaction. It was not going to be a pleasant one. If I lied, the guilt would snowball. I must have taken too long to answer, because Morelli lowered me down from the door.

"You were with Ranger, weren't you?"

Somehow, my mouth had been glued shut at the worse time.

"Christ." Morelli mumbled. "Steph, I thought there was no need for that."

Finally, I unglued my lips. "I just went to visit. He's recovering. And I feel it's my fault." I wasn't lying.

I saw Morelli run his hand back through his hair and let out a small, Italian-sounding curse.

"It was a short visit." Now _that_ was a lie.

"Long enough for cake."

Ouch. "Joe…"

"No." He was bent over, picking up his shirt. "Let's just call in and watch TV."

I watched him slip the shirt over his well-muscled back. Morelli swung his legs over the back of the couch and plopped down in front of the TV. He kicked his CAT boots off, rested his feet on the coffee table and focused on channel surfing.

To keep myself from going insane I walked to the backdoor and let Bob in. He walked to Morelli's side and after turning in three full circles he lay down with a thump.

"Joe?"

He reached for the remote, and turned up the volume. I couldn't compete with the roar of the basketball game.

"I'm going to take Bob for a walk."

I glanced down at Bob. He stared up at me with a _No-you-don't_ look in his big orange eyes. I sighed. It was bad enough I had one of them mad at me.

I left Joe's house without another word. I knew he wouldn't notice or care. I walked out to my Mini and drove home, Metallica blasting all the way home.

­—

_Chapter two coming soon! Hope you enjoyed and don't forget to review!_


	2. Chapter 2

_I want to thank everyone for all of their reviews! They definitely motivate and inspire me to write better, and faster. I'm going to try to update this story as much as possible. I'm going to try for a weekly update, but I make no promises. _

_Let me know how I'm doing. Thanks for the support._

_-LadyB_

_**Disclaimer:** I do **not** own any of the characters. Janet Evanovich does, she's just letting me borrow them for the time being, at no profit. Just the enjoyment of the readers._

—

**When You Have Your Cake and Eat It Too**

**Chapter Two**

I left Joe's in the same way I left Ranger's; without much of a place to go. I seldom had stability in my life, so it came as no surprise. I might not have known much but I knew I didn't want to go home. At least not yet. My stomach reminded me loudly that I hadn't eaten anything yet. For a moment I thought I heard my stomach over Metallica. I was cold. I could go home and cuddle into bed but I would be alone beside Rex. I wasn't looking to be alone just yet. Don't get me wrong, I loved Rex, but he wasn't much in the protection department. For protection I needed Joe. Or Ranger. I felt a rush of heat at the thought of both of them.

"Dammit, I need a donut." I whispered to myself. When in doubt, eat, and eat sweet!

After tugging at my hair for another minute, thinking of the two men in my life, I decided to go visit my parents. Joe was ignoring me. Ranger wanted to talk me into bed for the night with no promise of what would happen in the morning. I wanted not one thing they were offering. What I needed couldn't be solved by silence, sex, or food. What I needed was the comforting familiarity of my family. Even if they drove me insane…

I moved my pale blue eyes to my dashboard clock. It read 6:05pm. I was five minutes late if I wanted to make dinner. I wasn't worried though. Like every perfect Burg wife my mother was ready for company at a moment's notice. I turned my car around and headed for my parent's place.

They didn't live very far from Morelli's, which was convenient. Since I hit all of the lights right on the way to my parent's house I was there by 6:11. Like when I arrived at Joe's I didn't have to know on the door. I had barely opened my car door and pulled the keys from the ignition when I heard my grandmother's voice. "It's Stephanie!" I cursed. I wanted to believe I was stealth, like a real bounty hunter should be; like Ranger. Ranger was a shadow. Most people didn't see him coming until it was too late. I was one of those people.

My grandmother stood in the doorway. She was short, her hair curled tightly at the top of her head. Gravity hadn't been kind to my grandmother. I heard that in her youth she resembled my mother. Now she looked like a shrunk down, compressed version of my mother. Today she wore a bright red velour jumpsuit that matched her nails. My mother came up behind her.

"Stephanie, nice to see you! What brings you here?"

I stared at the two of them, secretly hoping I wouldn't shrink down like Grandma Mazur had. I wondered if mom was on her way…

"Stephanie…are you in some sort of trouble again?"

"No." I came around from behind my mini, embracing my mom. "Just thought I'd drop by."

"She looks safe enough." Grandma commented. "No dirt caked to her body, no explosives, her car's in one piece…" She looked at me, moving her teeth around in her mouth. "That's disappointing."

I knew my life had reached an all-time low when my grandmother depended on my presence for entertainment. Maybe dad had finally had enough and broken the TV in an attempt to put an end to Grandma's choice of shows, which included CineMax and the Spice Channel.

They led me into the house quickly. All at once I was hit with the smells of my childhood. My mother's cooking oozing from the kitchen, the scent of our living room that oddly enough reminded me of peppermint at all times of the year, and the distinct scent of my father's cologne. Beyond all of those smells I could detect a faint hint of pineapple upside-down cake. My mouth watered. The day suddenly didn't seem like so much of a loss with the promise of cake in the near future, even if I had already had my fair share of cake earlier. But, I told myself, that was birthday cake. Birthday cake and mom's cake were totally different. Somehow that eased the blow.

Mom and Grandma Mazur guided me into the dinning room. Grandma took her seat furthest away from dad. Valerie and her daughter Angie—her carbon copy—said hi in unison, which _almost _made me not want to eat. Albert dropped his food on his stomach as he tried to greet me; the meatball rolled off his belly and onto the floor somewhere. Mary Alice, Valerie's daughter who had taken a lot more after me, neighed as she galloped. Lastly, dad mumbled something in between his mouth full of pasta. Mom disappeared into the kitchen and when she returned she carried a large plate filled with steaming hot pasta. I grinned. It was good to be home.

"So what brings you here?" My mother asked for a second time.

"Yeah, who did you shoot this time?"

I would have expected such a remark from Grandma Mazur, that's why I was shocked into choking when Valerie said it.

"I-I didn't shoot anyone!" I protested.

She rolled her eyes and went back to her pasta. "Fine, who shot you today?"

If I had actually been by the bonds office today she might not have been so far off point. I faked outrage.

"NO ONE!"

Valerie snorted. "First time for everything, I guess."

My mother stared at me seriously. "I mean it! No one!" Her stare didn't waver. "I just…had a fight with Joe." I shoveled pasta into my mouth, hoping that she hadn't heard me.

I knew by the size of her eyes and the gasp she drew in that she had. She crossed herself. "Angela Delveccio's daughter isn't having sex with men out of wedlock then fighting with them the next day."

Grandma laughed. "That's because she's not having sex with _men_, period."

My father shook his head and reached for the potatoes like they were going to vanish if he waited too long.

"What happened between you and Joe this time?" Nice, sweet, considerate Saint Valerie was back. Ever since she had the baby her mood swings were never quite normal again. But we knew better than to comment.

"JoewasmadIwenttoseRanger." I spat it all out in one gulp.

"Whoo. Ranger." My sister fanned herself.

Albert looked at her. He was a caring man who had stepped up to his responsibility and helped Valerie take care of their child together like a good Burg family would. Sure, he might not have been up there in the looks department with Ranger and Joe, but he made up for it in the way he treated my sister. Valerie's past husband wasn't too ugly himself and he'd ended up in the closet with the babysitter. Maybe it was better that Albert wasn't so good-looking.

My sister patted his balding head and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. "You know you're still my number one, right cuddle-umkins?"

Mom looked at the kitchen door; she was thinking about the liquor she stashed in the back of the cabinet. I was thinking about the cake I had smelt the second I walked into the house.

"I told you not to tell one man you're dating that you've gone to see the other man you're dating." Grandma interrupted. "I've learned that the hard way. All my stud muffins were finding out about each other."

Maybe the sight of Albert and my sister wasn't so bad after all.

I looked to dad to tell where this meal was. His face had the look of completely disgust. I thought for a moment he was going to stop eating all together. He sat frozen, fork mid-way between him and his plate. Then he blinked, his face went back to normal and he went for the salt. The story of my life.

Dinner went by a normally as it could with Grandma's antidotes and Mary Alice galloping around between bites. By the time desert came I was ready to go home, but only because it was cake—Pineapple upside-down cake at that—had I stuck around. I shoveled through a fat slice before going home, and had another equally fat slice in a paper bag to go. The only problem I faced now was getting home. I turned my car on and drove pointlessly around town when I noticed that my RangeMan issued cell phone was buzzing in the bottom of my purse. I dug for it while driving and answered "Hello Ranger."

I could hear him smiling through the phone. "Babe, are you having trouble getting home?"

Ranger had an unlimited batch of information at his fingertips, but even this startled me. I looked around self-consciously. "How did you know that?"

He laughed the fullest I've ever heard, given current events. It felt good. The dull throbbing behind my eyeballs vanished for a second. Even if it was at my expense I loved when Ranger laughed. It was a rare occurrence.

"I have Hal and some other men around town watching for an FTA. They said they've seen you drive by 3 times." He was silent for a second. "Now 4."

I swore. More laughing from Ranger. "Okay, so I'm having a bit of trouble getting home."

"Do you want me to give you directions?"

"No." I scoffed.

"So, do you want me to meet you in the parking lot in about 10 minutes and escort you upstairs?"

Now that idea had something to it. "Yes."

"Babe, you know that your apartment is safe now. It's over."

I nodded weakly.

"It's been calm." He pointed out.

"Too calm…"

We both grew silent. It was true. Things had been too calm, far too clam. Ranger agreed that he would help me get home and we hung up without much else said between us. I was feeling better about going home when I dropped my phone back into my purse and caught a glimpse of the paper bag on the seat. Much better, there was cake to be had, warm jammies to be changed into, Rex to be seen, and Ranger to be…

I stopped myself. I couldn't go there. Things like that just made my trouble with Morelli worse. I didn't want that. I wasn't ready to talk to him just yet. Morning sounded promising. Maybe by then he would be over his brief attack of jealousy. I knew how it went. This was Joe's way of telling me he loved me, that he didn't feel like sharing me. I appreciated the gesture, just not when it left me all alone for the night.

I pulled into my apartment and dashed out of my car. Ranger was waiting for me, standing with his back against the passenger's side of a black SUV. It fit Ranger and his entire organization. Ranger and the Merry Men actually weren't very merry at all now that I thought about it. Their lives were over-flooding with secrets; only God knew if the nature of them. I could see it every time I glanced into Ranger's dark chocolate, almond-shaped eyes. He gave off the vibe of one of those good bad guys. His mystery only made him sexier, if that was possible. It made women want to get to know him, tame him, change him. At least that's what it did for me.

There was a time when I thought I could make Ranger want the love that came with a ring. Now, I had given up on it. I knew what he wanted. I'd give it to him if what he wanted didn't make me feel cheap, and if I didn't love Joe just as much as I loved Ranger.

I snapped back to reality. Ranger had changed since the last time I saw him in his appartment. He was wearing his SWAT black again, and despite the fact that it was night time he had a pair of dark aviator shades clipped to the front of shirt. His arms were crossed over his chest. He wore no jacket. I was freezing and I had on two shirts and a windbreaker.

He gave me a shake of his head. "Are you ready to go up?"

I nodded through my trembling. "Y-yes."

Ranger turned around and rapped on the window. Slowly, it eased down enough for me to catch a glimpse of Tank. Tank was Ranger's right hand man and he was exactly what his name implied. At first I had been scared halfway to death by him. But I had been around him at lot more since then. And, when you started to sleep with Lula you sort of lost your credibility. Come to think of it, a lot of Ranger's Merry Men didn't scare me anymore. I was spending too much time with them. I didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

"Drive around. I'll call you when I'm done." Ranger leaned in and said to Tank.

Tank nodded and let out a small grunt of approval.

That meant he wasn't planning on making this a short visit. My stomach flopped around like a fish out water until I felt desert rise up into my throat.

We watched Tank drive away, and then we walked into my lobby without words. Ranger pressed the button for the elevator and we shared an unreadable stare. I hated when he did that. I felt like he was reading my thoughts. I nervously pushed my hair behind my ear as the elevator dinned. We stepped in silently.

Usually an elder woman in her 80's, Mrs. Bestler, was in the elevator. It was late and I didn't expect her to be there. She was a sweet woman who wouldn't harm a fly, even if the elevator in her mind had limited stops. I was somewhat glad she wasn't there; then again, I wanted something to ease the tension.

"I'm not going to attack you." Ranger said lowly. "Unless you want me to." He whispered huskily against my ear.

All the heat in my body was heading south. I was almost sure Ranger was reading my thoughts then. "I-I…didn't think you would."

He made a sound that I wasn't sure if it was of annoyance, amusement, or lust. I was scared of the latter.

We got off at my floor and I was already moving to my front door when I was stopped. Ranger had fisted his hand in the back of my jacket and spun me around into his hard chest. I was busy staring at my reflection in his glasses. "These are great…where did you get them?"

He tiled my chin up. "Babe…"

"No, really." I was nervous, babbling. "Where did you get them? Dad might like a pair. No, they're more Grandma's style, and I never know what to get anyone for Christmas. I figure I have to do all of my shopping in Ju—"

Ranger's tongue sliding into my mouth silenced me. It took me a moment but I gave into the kiss slowly. Who wouldn't give into it? The kiss got hot and heavy very quickly. That was to be expected of Ranger. I started to feel nervous and self-conscious. Ranger and I were going to be alone in my apartment. Last time that happened his head was under the covers…

I was going to pull away with Ranger yanked me closer and the kiss got more demanding, if that was possible. He had spent a decent amount of time not making moves to kiss me, mainly because he was recovering at home. I guess Ranger was making up for lost time. I think I squeaked, but who could be sure? I was slowly starting to enjoy myself with suddenly I felt that twang of guilt in the pit of my stomach. Joe.

I broke away from Ranger and stared at him without blinking. My heart was thudding furiously under my breast and I think I might have been drooling. Our encounters were starting to read off of a script. Ranger would kiss, I would react. He would continue. I would think of Joe. We would stop.

When I opened my mouth to say something in protest nothing came out.

"Let's go inside."

Thank God!

Ranger moved in front of me, pressing one of his hands to my door knob and his other to my stomach. I felt the heat of his hand seep through my layers of clothing. "Wait."

I didn't see what he had done but without trying he tripped the lock. A moment of Ranger Magic. He walked into my apartment while motioning for me to stay in the hallway. I heard the click of a gun that had magically appeared out of no where. It didn't surprise me much. Ranger had a whole army under his clothes.

"The hell?" I heard a voice say from inside my apartment. The hallway spun off of its axis for a moment. I knew that voice. I had heard that voice grow from a soft boyish whisper to the seductive purr of a grown man. That voice was etched into the back of my brain. It made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. It made my stomach tingle with anticipation. It was Morelli. Shit. I dug my heels into the hallway and bit my lip. On the other side of that doorway was the one problem I had been trying to avoid for as long as I can remember.

Morelli. Ranger. Morelli. Ranger. This wasn't going to end well.

I felt Ranger's hand move to mine and tug me into my own apartment. Somehow the door closed behind me. I looked at Morelli without blinking. He had his cop face on, reaching for the gun at his hip since Ranger had one in his hand. Just because it wasn't pointed didn't mean that it wasn't lethal. I glanced between the two.

"I thought I warned you about over-stepping boundaries." Morelli said calmly, too calmly.

Morelli didn't look good. His eyes were almost blood shot and his face showed no emotion. But I knew better. I knew he was livid. His voice was flat but behind it there was danger. I saw it in the flicker of irritation that crossed his eyes as he stared at Ranger and my hand, intertwined.

Ranger let go of my hand as if he sensed my apprehension. I swallowed heavily. I started to do deep breathing, hoping that if I closed my eyes tightly enough when I opened them they were going to be gone. Or at least they would put their guns away.

"I'm not." Ranger replied in an equally even tone. "I'm just seeing that she gets home safe."

"That's my job."

"Why didn't she call you?"

They glared at each other. I tried my best to read the looks but I had no luck. The room was silent except for Rex's running on his wheel. Nothing seemed to bother him. Not even men with guns in my kitchen. Then again, this wasn't anything new. I could see why he felt completely at ease. I wasn't bothered by the guns. I was bothered by the men.

There seemed to have been some sort of communication between Ranger and Morelli because when I looked at them again their faces had soften a fraction. They spoke with their eyes. Ranger's lips twitched. Morelli's brows furrowed together. Their faces went blank. Each of them nodded.

I felt the familiar warmth of Ranger's hand pressing to my shoulder. "Babe." He nodded in Morelli's direction for the last time and turned to leave.

"That's enough!"

That _definitely _got their attention. Their heads turned in my direction.

"I've had it with the two of you! You two have got to stop this!" I shouted, shocking myself, Ranger, Morelli and even Rex. He stopped running. Momma was having an episode. Morelli's jaw fell ajar and if I didn't know any better, Ranger was at a loss for words.

The 3 men in my life gazed at me waiting for my next move. I would have happily continued, but I didn't even know what else to do. I had no idea where this was coming from or what I was getting myself into.

So I started pacing. I pictured myself having a moment where I told them off, both of them. I mean _really_ telling them off. Arms failing, hair and eyes wild, voice loud enough to wake the dead. You know, a real Italian soliloquy. I was going to yell at Morelli for showing up and letting himself into my apartment. I had enough of men doing that. Ranger was going to get it for making my choices for me. I was a grown woman. I knew what I was doing…most of the time. When it didn't come to the two of them. I was just about to open my mouth to yell at them, to really give them a piece of my mind when something buzzed behind my eyes. A sharp pain registered on my forehead. The room felt fuzzy. The color started to fade, and the last thing I remember was Ranger and Morelli saying "Shit" at the same time before I hit the ground.


	3. Chapter 3

_When I first started this story I didn't have very big plans for it. I didn't even know if I was going to keep it going at all. _

_To be completely honest I don't know where it's going to go just yet. I kinda make it up with each chapter. I'm going to give Babe fans and Cupcake fans attention tho. I know that much. As for the end result...not sure yet. _

_The amount of love through reviews is VERY motivating. I can't say that enough. Thanks to all my reviewers and those who've added me to their alerts. _

_I'm actually open to suggestions as to where you all would lyke to see the story head. Let me know in a review what you'd like to see. _

_-LadyB_

_**Disclaimer:** I do **not** own any of the characters. Janet Evanovich does, she's just letting me borrow them for the time being, at no profit. Just the enjoyment of the readers._

—

**When You Have Your Cake and Eat It Too**

**Chapter Three**

I woke up in my bed feeling very disoriented, laying on my back. My first thought was _One of those bastards stunned me!_ Believe it or not, I've been stunned a great number of times in my life, many of which have been fairly recent. But, as I lay there in bed the after-math felt different. Slowly, I peeled my eyes open eye-lash by painful eye-lash. It was dark in my room. The lights were all off. From what I could see through the window out of the corner of my eye it was nighttime, late at that. I shakily rubbed my eyes and let out a pained groan. What the hell had happened? My second thought was panic. _Was I dressed?_ I touched my hands over my chest, letting out a relived breath of air to find I still wore original shirt. Then it all came flooding back to me so quickly I closed my eyes in pain again.

I remembered Ranger; I remembered Joe. I recalled my argument with Joe, dinner at my parents, and coming home with Ranger as my escort, only to fine Joe in the middle of my kitchen. He had had a gun. So had Ranger, but that came as no surprise to me. I was about to yell at them when I blacked out without knowing why. Maybe it was a defense mechanism. I decided that it was, and readied myself for a shower to ease my body of the pain. Judging by how sore I was I must have hit the floor pretty hard.

Slowly, I rolled myself off of my back, onto my side to slide out of bed when I found myself face to face with a bulge of fabric. I blinked. It took me a moment to realize what I was looking at. Heat rushed to my face. I just had to realize _who's_ I was looking at. I glanced up to see Ranger's dark eyes burning into mine through the darkness. He was sitting in my bed, his back pressed to the headboard of my bed and legs stretched out in front of him. The corners of his mouth were tugging up. "Babe…"

I blushed until my face felt like it was going to melt. I opened my mouth but my throat was bone dry. I made a lot of stammering noises, none of which made much sense, before I closed my mouth.

"Eager, aren't you?" Ranger chuckled. Then, it died down, and the look in his eyes went from amusement to lust. My mind told me to run. I was in enough trouble as it was. My body became rooted to the floor through my mattress.

Again, I tried to answer but nothing came out. Ranger's hand touched my cheek. It was warm against my clammy skin. I was enjoying the sensation when I heard my bedroom door open. Joe. I didn't bother rushing to sit up. I sat up slowly, so I didn't cause further pain to my muscles. To my surprise Joe didn't look all that upset. Or, I could have been reading him wrong. He had that damn cop face on again.

He shared a look with Ranger. "Here you go." And with that Ranger was out of bed, pulling a leather jacking off of the edge of my bed and strapping on his guns that were on the floor. Morelli was taking off his shirt, removing his bullet-proof vest and removing the gun at his waist. I looked on in confusion.

"What's going on?"

They ignored me.

"Hello?"

Joe and Ranger were in Alpha Male land. I saw on the Discovery Channel once that two Alpha Males could not co-exist or they would kill each other. At the time I thought it was stupid. Now I knew they were right on the money. In their minds, one of them had to be taken down. But somehow, Ranger and Joe had their moments where they seemed to be working for a common goal. However, most of the time that meant I was screwed.

"She just woke up now." I heard Ranger say as he finished strapping up his vest.

"Did you know she sleeps like the dead?"

Ranger gave off a cross between a scoff and a chuckle. "She was mumbling in her sleep then rolled over on me. She even kicked me."

"Oh, man." Joe sympathized. "I'm sorry, man. She's done the same to me. Got too close to the family jewels for my taste."

"Ouch."

"I'll be here until 9:30. I have a meeting with some people about a case."

I heard the click of Ranger's holster. "Be back around 8. Have to be out by 6 though."

"Early morning?"

"Yeah."

By this point I was sitting up in bed, frowning. "HELLO!? I ASKED YOU TWO A QUESTION! I'M SITTING RIGHT—" I placed a hand to my forehead and slowly lied back down. The room was buzzing again.

Joe smiled. "I think I like this new Steph. She yells and she's out like a light. This is wonderful."

Ranger nodded and disappeared like smoke under the door without another word. When I felt the bed shift with Joe's weight I forced my eyes open, even if they felt like anchors. This was the chance I needed. I could finally read Joe now that we were alone.

He was a mixture of a great deal of things. I didn't take my eyes off of him. His lips were set into a tight, emotionless tilt, his eyes dark with sleep and fatigue, and even…worry. My heart caught in my chest. He was worried about me. It meant he still cared.

Joe brushed his hands back through his hair, shoving the stubborn locks away from his handsome face. He was getting shaggy again. He let out a powerful breath of air before glancing up at the ceiling. No doubt asking help from God. Funny how we all turned to religion when we knew we were about to embark on something that we knew wouldn't end well.

"Now can I know what's going on?" I whispered, afraid to yell, afraid of the outcome of this conversation. I tried to steady my heart.

My shot at an honest conversation with Joe was thrown out of the window when his cop face returned. The worry, all of the other beautiful emotions I had seen in his melted-chocolate eyes were gone. "You came home with Ranger. I was in your kitchen. You yelled, you blacked out."

Yep, pretty much the same thing I remembered. I touched my forehead. Joe narrowed his eyes slightly.

"Why were you coming home with Ranger?"

I propped up on my elbows, curls in my face, room spinning. This was my best attempt at giving Morelli and intimidating glare. "Why were you in my kitchen?"

For a second I saw the cop face waver. Then it came back with double the force. "I wanted to talk to you."

"About what?" I tried to sit up but his hand in the space between my breasts stopped me. We locked eyes. The lack of lust and heat behind his stare made my heart drop. This was business.

"You were probably exhausted. Did you have anything to eat?"

I nodded weakly. "I had just come from my parents…"

Rage snapped in his eyes. "Then why bring Ranger?"

"…I was scared to come to my apartment. There. Are you happy?"

Joe shook his head. "Steph, you have to stop this."

"Stop what?"

"Ranger. You can't keep calling him in when we're not okay. You can't keep…replacing me with him."

I felt my jaw drop. This was coming from Joseph Anthony Morelli, the man who _never_ fell pray to emotions. The women of the Burg—all of those who weren't Morelli women—had an on-going joke that the only emotions Morelli men were allowed to feel were anger, lust, and more anger. No tears, no apologies, and certainly not insecurities. So for Joe to be showing these things to me was one of the most unexpected events of my life.

"I'm not replacing you."

"Yes, yes you are. Every time I do or don't do something, you call in the understudy. I can't keep doing this." He was off the bed, pacing, hand jammed as deeply as they would go into his pockets. I suspected if they weren't he would have broken something by now.

"I thought you liked Ranger…"

He glanced at me, stopping his pacing. "I do." He resumed pacing. "He's a nice guy. A little bit—okay _heavily_—disturbed but he's got his good points." Joe stopped one more time, walked over to me and gave me a sober stare into my eyes. "I just don't like him around you. He wants you."

Joe's stare was making me uncomfortable. I moved away from him and threw my legs over the opposite side of the bed. I stood with my hands shaking, trying to find out what to say. I wished I could have told him I didn't want him back. It would have been the right thing to do. But here was the truth: I wanted Ranger as much as I wanted Joe. No more, no less. Ranger was raw sexuality. He was the things mothers warned you about. He was as dangerous as Joe had been when I was 6 years old, and then again when I was 16. I noticed the pattern then.

The only difference was Joe's danger had been replaced by a hint of maturity somewhere along the line. He offered things that all women wanted. Stability, loyalty, security, a home, and the promise of a family in the near future. Any woman would have wanted that. Except me. I couldn't conform to the typical Burg housewife. I had made it too far to turn back now. Even after I had turned him down he _still _loved me. Dammed if I knew why. Ranger was still just that forbidden fruit. I didn't want to have to decide which was more important to me.

"I'm with you." Was all I could reply with. I saw instantly that it was not enough.

"But if you weren't…"

Joe didn't have to finish. For the first time I was seeing the most venerable side of Joe. I didn't know what to do. He couldn't expect me to.

"But I am." I said sharply.

We stared at each other for a long time from over the bed. Joe was fresh from work, I was looking like a girl who was crumpled up and had blacked out. I watched his face go blank. I tried to convince myself that it didn't matter, that no one but us mattered in our relationship, but I knew it wasn't so. Ranger as much a part of this relationship as we were. My relationship with Joe had never been simple.

I think that I saw it at the same time he did. My latest case has put so much of a distance between us. We had come so close to losing one another, but at the same time, my spending time with Ranger had put a wedge between us that I couldn't move; neither of us could. I sighed.

"Joe…"

The Joe I knew was back. "I told you about your damn jobs."

Here it went, for the umpteenth time, the argument about my job. "No." I said shaking my head. "I can't do this. We can't have this argument again."

"It's only an argument because you make it one. You should quit, for good. It's bad enough one of us pulls in the crazies."

My expression went concerned. "Joe…are you okay?"

He waved his hands. "Oh no, don't change the subject."

I came around the bed and stood in from of him. He had a thick 5-o'clock shadow. I stroked the rough stubble gently. "What is going on?"

His hand came over mine, holding it to his face for a second longer. "You know what I want, cupcake."

That's when I pulled my hand down and looked away.

"It's for your safety. You need to quit Vinnie, and RangeMan."

I didn't say a word. I stared at the carpet until I started to see a pattern.

"And you need to stay away from Ranger."

I pushed my hair aside and looked up at Joe. He was deadly serious. "You can't make me stay away from Ranger. He's my friend. We work together."

Joe frowned deeply. I saw the first signs of age on his face. As long as I could remember Joe had been as perfectly preserved in my mind as a Greek statue. But tonight I saw that even he had changed with time. The small lines that were at the corner of his eyes and on his forehead had deepened.

"I'm Terri's friend. I work with her."

I touched my hand to my chest. Terri Gilman. She was Joe's ex-girlfriend and I wasn't convinced that she was over him. I continued to gaze at Joe. If I was Terri I wouldn't be over him either just like that. He knew that hearing about her made me see red, yet he had gone there. He has crossed the line.

"G-get out…" I whispered softly. My voice was starting to break and the tears were filling up in my eyes.

"Cupcake."

"Get out!" I said, steadier this time No matter how convincing I sounded, we both knew I didn't mean it. I was losing it. I could hardly make out the sight of my own feet. I blinked, and the tears streamed down. I lowered my head to keep Joe from watching.

It was too late. He was close to me in an instant. He tiled my chin up as I sniffled. "Shit, cupcake. I hate when you cry."

I turned into putty in his arms then. I buried my face into his chest and sobbed until my body was trembling violently. I knew Joe was scared. Go figure that tears are the weakness to a bad-ass Trenton Cop.

I pulled back a few seconds later to see a big wet spot on Joe's shirt. "Sit down." He advised and pushed me down onto the bed. I fell back with a flop.

I glared up at me. "Don't do that to me."

He didn't listen. He sat down right next to me and grabbed both of my hands into his large ones. They were rough, and calloused. Before I could pull my hands away one of his was holding mine down against his leg and another one of his hands had snaked around my waist, pulling me toward him. He had buried his face in the horrible mess of my hair.

"What are you doing?" I whispered.

He didn't reply.

"Joe?"

I heard him take in a long breath of air then let it out slowly. He squeezed me harder to his chest.

"Joe?"

I thought I heard him whisper he was sorry. I would never really know if it was true, or it had been my imagination telling me what I wanted to hear. He pressed his face to the crock my neck. I could feel his hot breath against my skin. I shivered. I kept repeating his name, not knowing why or for how long. When he finally tried to pull away from me, my hands were in his hair and I was shaking; from what, I didn't know. Joe locked eyes with me.

"Sleep with me." He mumbled on my lips before he gave me a short, sweet kiss. He pulled back and actually wiped the tears from my cheeks.

I blinked. "I don't know how good an idea that is considering we—"

Joe laughed. "I didn't mean like that. Literally, _sleep_ with me."

More blinking. The day Joe Morelli wanted sleep over sex would be the day the world was ending. I got out of bed and walked to my window. I closed it to stop myself from shivering to death and then stared out through the dirty glass at the lightening sky.

"What are you doing?"

I moved the curtains over the glass. "I was looking for the horsemen of the Apocalypse."

From behind me I heard Joe scoff. When I turned back around he had kicked his shoes off and was lying in by bed, under the covers. "Come on." He patted the side next to him.

I stared at it, contemplating my options. We were on the brink of _that argument_ again. Was it safe to lie next to him?

"I won't bite."

That's what I was afraid of. I was afraid that all of this stress and our arguments had killed Mr. Happy. Sure, I wasn't going to need today, but if Joe and I remained together, who was to stay I wouldn't need him there?

Joe must have seen me battling with an answer because the next thing I knew he was out of bed and dragging me into it. Once I was secured under the blankets he hugged me from behind and breathed against my ear. "We need to talk later."

I nodded. We did need to talk. Joe and I were getting so serious that we both knew the ups and downs, backs and forths had to stop. The fact that he was willing to work this out made my heart beat quicker. He hadn't given up on me…yet.

I placed my hands over Joe's, which were neatly folded over my stomach. He fell asleep almost instantly behind me. He was tired, and I knew our argument hadn't done much to help his exhaustion either. I was tempted to shake him awake when I heard his soft snoring. I didn't have the heart to do it. So, we slept. For what might have been one of the first times in our life, Joe and I slept together without sleeping together. I linked my hands with his before falling into a deep, black, dream-less sleep. I wasn't ready to let go. Not yet.

Whatever came when we both woke up…well, we'd just cross that bridge when we got there. For now, _this_ was all I needed.


End file.
